Like Hermione's magic bag in 'The Deathly Hallows' (or for our older readers, Mary Poppins' magic carpet bag), this is a cavernous and surprisingly fashionable swim bag with all the space you need inside for both training and competitions.

Decorated in club colours and sporting the club logo, this is a premium product and all swimmers are encouraged to use one, especially when competing for the club

Picture and description to follow when we finish negotiating the film rights.

Picture and description to follow when we finish working out how to use a camera.

The hat that sets the champions apart from those in their wake. This revolutionary hat (designed in wind tunnels*) allows the swimmer's head to gracefully glide through the water like a hot knife through butter.

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*Probably...how else do they test them?

You will need one of these desirable items atop your head if you wish to compete for Walsall Swimming Club. Great for training but we encourage you to get the bullet one for increased speediness in competition.

Oh, remember the good ol' days when we just used to borrow what we needed from the pool store cupboard. 

Anyway, you need to have everything to hand these days at training sessions and this handy bag (with holes at no extra cost to you) is available for all your float/pullbuoy/flipper/water bottle needs. 

Also useful for weekly shopping to avoid that pesky 5p charge.

Aha, you think. I'll just get one of those cheap ones from that big sports shop. Well, your friendly neighbourhood coach will tell you as they are far too light and affect the swimmer's balance. 

Please, we implore you, for the sake of the children, get one of these heavyweight ones instead.

Available in blue and pink. Please ask if other less gender stereotyping colours are available.

It's a pull buoy. It goes between your legs when you want to punish your upper body. They come in blue and pink because the manufacturers think they are the only colours that boys and girls like. 

These delightful foot ornaments enhance the kicking art and are available in different colours. Just kidding, the choices are pink and blue. Please wear sensibly when not in water.

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Caroline may have some 2nd hand flippers available in various sizes for £5. Please ask.

You know how when you walk into a rough pool and your tattoos just don't cut the mustard, well look no more.

These temporary tattoos* are a great way to instill team spirit (Terry has one on all the time, you'll never guess where).

Also handy if you forget which club you are swimming for.

*Does not require ironing on